WHO AM I?
Hi I'm Tom. I'm 33 and i am a dad to my wonderful son. An adoptive dad. A gay dad. Or maybe just a dad?
I was just 17 when i met my (now) husband though we didn't get married for a quite a while. We've been through it all together. College, various career moves, flat moves, house moves... 15 years later still going strong.
Spending most of my 20's eating out all weekend and taking city breaks, it was when i was nearing 30 that i knew i wanted to be a dad. I liken it to that moment women are known to have... you know, when their body clock just 'PINGS!' and they need a baby. That was me.
Together my husband, Daniel, and i embarked on the adoption journey. It wasn't as terrible as i had been led to believe it could've been. Nine months later in the process, we saw a photo of our baby boy. He was ten months old and we knew we were looking at our son. In that moment life changed forever.
I'm still me. Still into music, food, taking a million pictures every day, (unfortunately no more TV, i'm resigned to catch up TV if i am lucky!) and of course writing my tales of parenthood. But first and foremost come my two boys. My weekends no longer mean lie ins and breakfast in bed... they now mean being woken up at 5am with my son running into my bedroom and watching Teletubbies and Bing on repeat until the coffee has kicked in.
I aim to share my stories of real dad life with you hopefully showing you we're all in this together, you are not alone and that toddler life really is like looking after a hormonal, small, drunk person who you are just trying to keep alive in their waking hours!
I have recently been asked how I found attachment and bonding with my son. It’s such a loaded question. And in my naivety, during the adoption assessment process I didn’t really think about it. Is that bad? I should have.
A week ago, almost two years to the day we met, we received his life story book. And it hit me. My son is adopted. I didn’t give birth to him and I’m pretty sure my husband didn’t either…
From going through the adoption process to meeting our son... there was no 'break' or 'rest'. We were thrown right in. It's the best way to learn right?
We had been given a matching panel date of April 9th. This was the day we'd meet in front of the people who would decide whether our son was going to be our son...
We were approved to be adopters in late October 2014. It was such an exciting time. We knew now though that we would potentially have to play the waiting game. We heard it from all angles- the social workers, our agency, the adoption charity where i worked...
I recently started this blog to share my experiences of parent and toddler life. But i know from being a prospective adopter myself 2 years ago that to hear real-life stories really helps. So i feel i have a little responsibility to the fellow adopters out there to share the journey we went on.
The awkward top 10.