WHO AM I?
Hi I'm Tom. I'm 33 and i am a dad to my wonderful son. An adoptive dad. A gay dad. Or maybe just a dad?
I was just 17 when i met my (now) husband though we didn't get married for a quite a while. We've been through it all together. College, various career moves, flat moves, house moves... 15 years later still going strong.
Spending most of my 20's eating out all weekend and taking city breaks, it was when i was nearing 30 that i knew i wanted to be a dad. I liken it to that moment women are known to have... you know, when their body clock just 'PINGS!' and they need a baby. That was me.
Together my husband, Daniel, and i embarked on the adoption journey. It wasn't as terrible as i had been led to believe it could've been. Nine months later in the process, we saw a photo of our baby boy. He was ten months old and we knew we were looking at our son. In that moment life changed forever.
I'm still me. Still into music, food, taking a million pictures every day, (unfortunately no more TV, i'm resigned to catch up TV if i am lucky!) and of course writing my tales of parenthood. But first and foremost come my two boys. My weekends no longer mean lie ins and breakfast in bed... they now mean being woken up at 5am with my son running into my bedroom and watching Teletubbies and Bing on repeat until the coffee has kicked in.
I aim to share my stories of real dad life with you hopefully showing you we're all in this together, you are not alone and that toddler life really is like looking after a hormonal, small, drunk person who you are just trying to keep alive in their waking hours!
Check out a list I wrote for the amazing Clemmie Telford over on Motherofalllists.com.
This morning my friends and the kids got together for brunch. We tucked into our pastries, sausages, eggs... while the kids made a lovely, messy concoction of croissant and playdoh. Standard.
Soft plays. Whether you love them or hate them, they are a necessity.
Which soft play dad are you?
I have recently been asked how I found attachment and bonding with my son. It’s such a loaded question. And in my naivety, during the adoption assessment process I didn’t really think about it. Is that bad? I should have.
We’ve been led by our son in everything. To me it feels so natural to allow him to do things at his own pace. And why not? What joy is there in forcing a child to do something a) they don’t want to do and b) they aren’t ready for?
A week ago, almost two years to the day we met, we received his life story book. And it hit me. My son is adopted. I didn’t give birth to him and I’m pretty sure my husband didn’t either…
On Thursday 26th January i made my radio debut on BBC Radio Berkshire, talking all about my journey in adoption and life with my boy.
I recently started this blog to share my experiences of parent and toddler life. But i know from being a prospective adopter myself 2 years ago that to hear real-life stories really helps. So i feel i have a little responsibility to the fellow adopters out there to share the journey we went on.
The awkward top 10.