Just over a year ago, I wrote all about ‘the threenager’.
It was a joyous time. Filled with tantrums, potty training, wanting to be independent and more tantrums. We all have ‘the terrible twos’ idea shoved down our throat, but the twos were a BREEZE. They were an absolute joy compared life with a threenager (sorry those with two years olds…).
So where are we at now? How is life with a little four-nado on our hands…?
Kai is now all about the independence. He wants to do everything himself more than he ever has before, and I encourage it, but when it’s dangerous or could pose a problem it has to be done with our help. The four-nado does not need help… don’t be so silly! But when we do attempt to help, that of course is greeted with an almighty meltdown the majority of times. He doesn’t want to sit at the table for breakfast, are you kidding me? That’s so boring. He’d rather pull his chair into the kitchen and stand on that at the worktop. Fine. Okay. Do it. Then there’s getting dressed. He can now get dressed on his own. Huge accomplishment (one I kind of miss having to do daily for him). But when you do leave him to do it then most days it simply will. Not. Happen. He’ll find every excuse under the sun to be running around the house in his pants and you’ll struggle to catch him! When we do manage to grab hold of his skinny, little body we have to help him get changed which again, results in screams of “Nooo!! I do it!!”.THEN DO IT!
I’ve noticed he’s using his imagination when he plays so much more which I love to see. He loves to ‘make us dinner’ at his kitchen or be out in the garden pretending he’s driving around shopping picking us up things for the house. It’s so cute to watch and see his little mind develop. He wants to be outside getting filthy. He isn’t one for crafts or quiet play our boy…
We started school a few weeks ago and thankfully he is loving it. We had a real struggle settling into nursery and I was worried he might find the transition to school a little tricky. I don’t know how or why… but he runs in. And that’s what you want isn’t it? A kiss and a cuddle and off he goes. I think it could be down to a mixture of his new friend we met over the summer being in his class or the fact his teacher seems so enthusiastic and full of life or that he is being stimulated and learning new things every day which means that he just wants to go in and have fun each day. This is putting him in such good stead for his school life. The first few weeks and months are so important to get right. To set the tone of how you feel about school.
And the ‘A’ word. Adoption. Have we talked about it? Has he asked? Yes and no.
He hasn’t asked why he has two dads or why he doesn’t have a mum. It’s just not on his radar. This is his family and he is loving life, he doesn’t need to think or worry about anything else in his wonderful world. In the last year though he has noticed ‘mums’ in general. He hears his friends calling out for “mummy” and he sees the majority of women at the school gates. He often tells me “There’s Harry’s mummy…”and things like that. He knows some people have mummies, some have daddies. And that’s how it should be. But he’s never asked if he has a mummy. We’ve told him a few times that he was adopted. That he had a birth mother and birth father who weren’t able to look after him but us three found one another. Just when we’re chilling at bath time or sitting down chatting. And it doesn’t really go in. It might well do for other four and a half year olds but he isn’t fussed or phased right now. But that doesn’t mean we keep quiet. We’re going to keep talking about it at the right/relevant times. We’ve said from day one that adoption will never be a dirty word in this family. It’s how we came to be a family. And we couldn’t be prouder.
In summary… a four year old isn’t a huge difference to a three year old. Yes, they’re smarter, they’re quicker, they want more independence. But he still needs his daddy. That’s not changed. It fills my heart when he still runs to me when he’s fallen over or when he calls for me in the middle of the night (maybe not at the time but when I think back to it after my third coffee I get all the feels). It’s an amazing age. A challenging age. Their brains are going at a mile a minute. But they still need us. More than ever. To help guide them, support them and ultimately love them. Oh and to feed them and clothe them. That has gotten MORE expensive. He is always hungry. “Daddy I need a snack” is heard probably 100 times a day no lie.
Oh and can we get him to sit through a film under the duvet yet? No such luck!