So. I think we’re at a point now where ’normally’ you’d consider having another child. Well, if you knew you always wanted more than one that is. This time last year I wrote about a similar thing but we came to the conclusion it felt too soon.
We’ve always been on the fence about having a second child. We didn’t even know kids were on the cards until one day something just switched in us and we felt we were ready. We wanted our little boy and we wanted to start a family and we went and made it happen. Adoption is different though. You go through a lot of meetings, training, paperwork, medicals. And you do it all willingly for the chance to create your family. But sometimes the thought of doing it all again can be a bit daunting.
I’ve said before how lucky I feel we were. We were determined. Positive. An open book. And the process treated us really well. From our first meeting to our boy coming home took nine months. Something often unheard of in adoption. We enjoyed the process. Yes it was stressful at times with all the waiting and waiting and more waiting… but on the whole, we were really lucky.
Would it be like that again? Would we find the perfect little match for our now family of three? I don’t question if I could love another child like I love my son. For us it was instant with him. There was no question. But we wouldn’t be adopting our son again, we’d be welcoming a completely different little human to our family. And that could be what is holding us back perhaps? That, and having a good thing going with our routine, being settled and feeling like we know what we’re doing (most of the time!) currently!
But I also see the other side, having another little one in the house. The nappies, the middle of the night wake ups, the crawling, the walking, the talking… and it does make me so happy to think we could go through it all again. I loved that stage so much, and it didn't last long with our boy. Is it easier for me to say that as the working parent though? I'm not there all day with him. I don’t know. But it's probably safe to say that if we could just make a baby ourselves I think we’d be pregnant by now. I think my son would be an amazing older brother. He’s already rubbing and kissing his auntie’s pregnant belly all excited for the baby. Although once he'd have a sibling of his own I don’t doubt he’d be bored after the first hour and continue to cause mayhem around the house, but I know he’d love that child. And the thought of him having someone to share Christmases with, family holidays… it makes me massively broody i'm not going to lie.
So what do we do? Do we start the process now so that during the assessment period we can sort out the third bedroom or maybe even move house? Or perhaps we could somehow win the lottery? Or are we there already? We have enough room in the house if we made some changes and more than enough room in our hearts. I guess it’s just biting the bullet? But he's not missing out on anything or craving a sibling. He is showered with love at every angle. He has made great friendships at nursery and he see's his cousins all the time as we live on the same street. Does he need a sibling?
You can probably tell this blog is just me brain dumping how I am feeling about it all. We're probably a bit scared. Nervous. But also, kind of filled with so much excitement at the thought of adding to the family. But equally, if you were to tell me this was our lot and we’re a single child family, my heart wouldn’t be broken. I have everything I could ever need. Anything extra would be a blessing for sure, but I don’t feel like we have a missing part to the family.
Maybe we wait til we get him in school in September, welcome my brothers new addition to the family and see if our broodiness is pacified a little bit…? Or we just make that call and start the bloody process now…